Dealing with dating a divorced man
___A woman who goes by the name “Lucky” responded to one of my Single Dad Wants posts with a moving and impassioned comment that’s too long to reprint here (scroll down for it). Your man, your divorced dad, is lucky to have someone so understanding.As I was writing my response, I realized I was writing my next post about relationships. And while I only have limited experience with being on the dad’s side, I do have a little knowledge of what you speak.That “best behavior” should be the model, within reason, for the relationship going forward.Certainly things change as dating evolves into a relationship, but let’s take the first date as our benchmark for good behavior, especially on the divorced dad’s side of the dinner table.I don’t think I will always do this, and there are certain moments when the phone definitely needs to be turned off, but while my kids are still pre-college, I’m at least going to make sure there is no emergency. But then there are my boundaries with both my kids and my ex that I have to enforce as well. But when the text dings and it is, in fact, one of my kids … Let’s take this from the perspective of a first date, rather than a developing relationship.
They do not need a parent and likely will resent you for trying.Additional loyalties go to their mother for a similar reason, and they could decide that loving you betrays Mom.Jealousy can also be a problem because you get the attention the child used to get.I scoured the Internet for advice about dating people with kids. I got the same advice from multiple people: "Be yourself." OK, what next? We were on and off, and it wasn't the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.The only books I could find were about step-parenting. Considering the divorce rate in this country, I thought finding the advice would be easy. *crickets* My relationship with this man continued for... But I did learn a LOT about the kiddos and how to deal with them.